Be Here Now
by Meridian31
Summary: "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." They're in a relationship, finally. But can Brenna and Adam Cole manage to stay that way as their jobs and lives shift around them? / Sequel to Insolence
1. Chapter 1

Backstage at Ring of Honor felt... _different_. It seemed that everyone was somehow aware of what tonight would bring.

Tonight was the third night of the annual 'War of the Worlds' event, which combined NJPW with ROH and there was never a dull moment to be had. But the vibe in the locker room felt more… electric, than usual. Something in the air spoke of change and progression and loss.

Brenna knew exactly why.

Adam had _grown_ in ROH. He had started years ago in the company, had made a name for himself in the company, held titles in the company.

And now he was going to walk away from it all.

It was just a little over two months in this exact building where Adam and Brenna had decided to give their relationship a genuine go. And it was just a week less than that since their Las Vegas tryst. Things were going well, all considered. Surprisingly, they had found it easier than anticipated to meet up in each other's cities when not on shows. Though of course locker rooms still provided their most common rendezvous spot.

After tonight, that would change. There were two more days, one more TV taping, that Adam was to be a part of ROH. This was his last ROH PPV. This was the last _big one_ officially.

This was Adam's last night in The Bullet Club.

"Hey, kid." Brenna looked up from where she'd been zoned out looking at her phone, finding Christopher Daniels sitting down in the chair beside her.

"Hey," she replied, pretending to click off her phone, even though it hadn't even been on. Brenna uncrossed and then again crossed her legs, adjusting herself in the beige and black sleeveless color block dress.

"Hiding out?" he questioned.

"No, just waiting to be called upon to do my part tonight."

"Yeah? Then why are you all the way back here?" Brenna looked around the area, noticing a few people at the distant end of the hallway moving about. She hadn't really realized she'd placed herself in a less busy area of the arena, away from the locker rooms. When she'd left the downstairs level of locker rooms, she had just wandered a bit, until she found a place to sit down that was quiet.

"Wasn't on purpose," she insisted. "I'm just staying out of the way."

"So…should I start sending birthday cards to Pennsylvania?"

"Not a chance," Brenna stated with a roll of her eyes to which he laughed. "We're just gonna keep doing what we do, and see where it all takes us."

"Brenna Marlow, just going with the flow? You _have_ changed," Christopher teased. Immediately she punched him in the arm, scrunching up her face towards him. He sold the hit, rubbing his arm and laughing, which she tried not to smile at.

"With the year I've had, it was bound to happen," she pointed out, and the joking nature faded away with her words. "Guess I had to learn the hard way I can't always have control, and you can't always plan for everything."

"Yeah, but you can still plan enough," he replied. "Don't change too much on me, alright?"

"No promises," Brenna smirked. With his own look towards her, he stood back up to leave. He reached out towards her hair, and she anticipated what he was going to do, throwing her arm up to block him and push him away. She did not want her side fishtail braid messed up. "Go be old somewhere else!"

"Mean," Christopher declared. She blew him a kiss, and with a chuckle, he finally turned and left. Brenna watched him walk away for a moment before looking back down at her phone to check the time. It was just under a half hour to bell time, and she figured it was a good time for her to head back to the production area. Adam was a part of the pre-show meet and greet, along with the Bucks and Briscoes, so she knew she wouldn't be seeing them just yet. She hoped everyone was getting along.

The last she'd seen of Adam tonight had been almost two hours ago when they'd had some dinner together, along with the Bucks and Marty. The conversation had steered clear of the plan for tonight, and Brenna knew the boys had done that for her benefit. Everyone was walking on eggshells around her, she could tell. Tonight was a big change for her as much as it was for Adam, and it seemed that everyone was still handling her a bit with fragile gloves.

Coming upon the production area behind the curtain, she slid up to stand beside Kevin and Ian. Conversation flowed easily, going over match listings for the night, any last minute changes, and segment plans.

When a hand came to rest lightly against the small of her back, she startled just a bit, causing the person to laugh lowly, and Ian and Kevin to smirk.

"Easy, Bren," Adam's voice soothed her. "Just me."

"I hate when you fucking do that," she reminded him, turning to give him a short glare as he stood beside her.

"Half of why I do it," he admitted.

"You done with the signing?"

"I am. Gonna go down to the locker room and get ready with the guys. Just wanted to see you first," Adam explained. Brenna could feel her cheeks warm a bit, not so much at his words, but at them being said in front of her colleagues, so casually. It was still a bit unfamiliar for her to have their relationship for all to see. She'd obviously never dated a coworker before, and it was a learning experience.

"Sounds like a plan," she stated. "Try not to suck tonight."

"I will do my very best," he confirmed with a stiff nod of his head before a wide grin took over his face. When he leaned down to kiss her, she couldn't help her own smile from forming after he broke away from her. "See you later." Her response was to kiss him again.

"Later," Brenna echoed as she moved a bit away from him, allowing him to leave. When she looked back at Ian and Kevin, she found Cary was also standing with them. All three had matching grins on their faces. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, fuck off, all of you."

"What! It's just nice to see you happy," Kevin defended the three of them, Ian nodding.

"Let's just focus on work, please?" Cary, thankfully, took her lead and began to explain to her about the opening segment that would be introducing the G1 special that NJPW was going to have in California.

Soon enough, the PPV started. The dark matches went well, and from there the show officially began. Brenna felt like she lost track of time as she sat to the side, watching match after match. Ian announced the matches for the first half of the night, which allowed her to actually enjoy some of the show.

And then it was the second to last match.

It was truly show time. Adam had requested that she be the one to be the announcer for his match. He said he wanted her to be a part of his night officially.

Brenna had to swallow to get rid of the catch in her throat as she announced his entrance into the arena.

Watching him walk down the ramp and aisle, all swagger and confidence, dressed in his standard leather jacket and wet hair, resonated with her.

Brenna spared a short glance at Adam as he made his way towards the ring, understanding he was far more focused on his opponent for the night, and the after-match plan. After sliding through the ropes, Brenna set the mic down on the commentary table and picked up her cell phone. She missed the way Adam looked at her as she walked away, waiting until he was standing on the edge of the ring to go back up the ramp. Her eyes remained head of herself as she walked into the back behind the staging, Adam's music playing around her.

She didn't pause while passing any of the workers or any of the locker room that were mingling around watching the monitors.

She didn't notice the quick look Jay Briscoe gave her. Or the longer sympathetic gaze she got from The Young Bucks.

It wasn't until she reached the back parking lot did Brenna finally feel like she could breathe again.

There was probably about 20 minutes until she would need to head back in. She knew the match was allotted around 15 minutes of action, and then about 5 minutes for post-match chaos, give or take. Brenna planned to spend all the possible minutes she could far away from the ring. It was maybe dumb to outsiders but she knew it was the only way she'd make it through the rest of the show.

As much as she wanted to be the _supportive girlfriend_ , she couldn't reconcile watching her boyfriend for all intents and purposes move on from such a huge part of his career, of their lives. It was bittersweet in so many ways, and she would rather not have her emotions on display for everyone to see.

The fact that she was in a back parking lot of an arena, hiding away, wasn't lost on her either. Somehow back parking lots at arenas had become a common setting for moments in her life and relationship with Adam.

Brenna passed the time on her phone, looking at reactions on Twitter to the show so far, scrolling through Instagram mindlessly. It seemed like the minutes went by slowly, as she did everything in her power to focus elsewhere than what was going on in the building behind her.

When the time had ticked down far enough, she headed back in. As she walked closer to the main floor, she could tell based on the sounds that the match was over. Soon enough she heard Kenny's voice loud and clear, which confused her because she knew he wasn't present. By the time she came to the production area, having slowed her walk, she looked at a monitor to see Adam laid out in the ring.

The monitor she was looking at cut away to a video package promoting the next match, and she was thankful for that.

A minute later, Adam was walking back through the curtain, to the applause of the production team. Cary and he embraced, and she watched as words were whispered between them. Adam shook hands with and accepted words from a few of the other workers before his eyes came to her. She couldn't pinpoint the emotion he was showing, but it was a lot.

"I have to get out there," she stated, indicating with her head she meant the ring. "Glad you survived."

"Another one down," Adam confirmed. With a smile, Brenna put a hard kiss to his mouth and then quickly left the area.

One more match to announce and the night would be done.

It went by fast, with Daniels retaining his championship. As he walked passed her to go back up the ramp, he did, in fact, ruffle her hair up a bit.

"Jackass!" she shouted after him, causing many of the fans around her to laugh. As the fans started to clear out of the building, Brenna left the floor along with the announce team and other workers. When she got into the back, she was immediately surrounded by the chaos of packing up. After making sure her mic pack was secured away, she went down to her own dressing area to change out of her dress and heels.

And then, that's where she stayed. She knew Adam would have post-show interviews, moments with the locker room to enjoy. It was important to her that he got time with "the boys". She was going home with him, so she'd have her time then. But tonight was the end of an era for him, and she wanted him to take as much time as he wanted to enjoy it.

Brenna passed the time by taking off her show makeup, which was always thicker and tougher to get off. She packed up her bags, making sure nothing was forgotten. After dressing down into her sweatpants and a t-shirt, she sat down to play games on her phone.

"Hey! There you are." Brenna lifted her eyes from her phone, taking in Adam's appearance. He was back in jeans and a flannel, all traces of his wrestling persona gone

"Hey," she replied, locking her phone, setting it beside herself on the empty folding chair. "You done for the night?"

"I am," he confirmed, coming into the room, shutting the door behind himself, leaning back against it. "You alright?"

"Yep." Adam's eyebrows went up a bit at her quick response. "…tired."

"Keep talkin'." With each step he took further into the room, Brenna felt her emotions that she'd tried so hard to shove deep down, surfacing. As soon as Adam reached her, and moved her phone to sit in the other chair, she was entirely focused on keeping her breathing even. If she focused on that, she could control the rest of herself.

"Just…been a hell of a night," she quietly stated.

"Did you watch?"

"No." Brenna continued to look away, not wanting to see his face at her answer.

"…why not?"

"Didn't want to." She knew she was being aloof, and her reasons for hiding away in the back were probably somewhat childish, but she couldn't help herself.

"We talked about this…."

They had. More than once, actually. More times than Brenna really remembered.

After the meeting in Florida a month ago, it had been discussed regularly between them. Sometimes in small anecdotes, sometimes at full-length. What would happen if Adam changed promotions, if he didn't. How it could change his career, the pros and cons. The impact it would have on them, as a couple. If they could manage long-distance, or needed to be together more often than not.

Brenna could still remember the last conversation they'd had about it when she was at his place a couple weeks ago, sharing beers in the darkened living room at night.

 _"I talked to Kyle today." Adam's statement wasn't necessarily out of the blue, but it was. They hadn't been talking at the time about anything, instead watching the TV playing Conan O'Brien's talk show._

 _"How's he doing?"_

 _"Says alright," he replied. "He and Maddie sound like they're gonna try to have a family soon."_

 _"Aw! Good on them," Brenna stated, taking a sip from her bottle. "It's gotta be nice with him home and all more than before."_

 _"Yea," Adam agreed shortly. "He uh, he was telling me though that may be changing in a couple months though."_

 _"Oh?" Brenna quirked an eyebrow, looking over towards Adam. While she was curled into the arm of the couch, he was in the recliner a foot away beside her._

 _"Sounds like he's thinking about going about some other avenues he hasn't been down before." Adam's words were vague to the casual ear, but to Brenna, a tried and true wrestler, she knew exactly what he was saying._

 _"I'm not surprised," she finally said, shrugging one shoulder. "Kyle's kind of in the same boat as you. He's done a fuck ton, and it's only right he gets a chance to see what else is out there, see what kind of life he can make for himself. And especially if he and Maddie wanna have kids. That consistency will mean a lot."_

 _"…so what if I did the same?" Adam's gaze moved to meet hers, his fingers trailing along his beer bottle._

 _"That's your call," Brenna replied. "I've said that for a while now. You need to do what_ _ **you**_ _want. What you think will play out the best for you."_

 _"You do keep saying that," he agreed. "But you…you matter too in this situation. And I want you to tell me, honestly, from your heart, what you want for_ _ **us**_ _."_

 _"You're crazy," she deflected, both of them knowing she was doing just that._

 _"Bren…." With his gentle chastising, Brenna looked back towards the TV. She could feel his eyes still on her, however. "Baby, please, just…just tell me your…your ideal. What, uh, what you'd want to happen for us."_

 _"Whatever keeps us together regularly, at least our known version of regular," Brenna answered, not looking towards him._

 _"If I have to move, will you work with me on that?"_

 _She hoped he didn't see the way her eyes closed tightly as she took in a sharp breath. It was a question she knew would come eventually, but she hadn't anticipated it now._

 _"Adam…."_

 _"No, I know that tone. No, Bren," he declared. "Tell me, right now, up front, if I have to be gone more than I'm close, will you work with me on that?"_

 _She didn't know what to say. She knew he was referencing Florida without saying it, but it was all still so hypothetical._

 _Adam and she had come so, so far in a few months. Going from a confused hatred, to an understanding, to a supportive relationship. It was hard to say, at least for Brenna, what she wanted or expected. This was still very new, uncharted territory._

 _When Brenna had gotten in this relationship, it had been a risk for her. Letting go of her past, of her pain, it wasn't easy. Trusting Adam, taking his history in stride, defending themselves against people she loved…. No one would call it an easy road. And just went she thought maybe things were smooth sailing, there had to be a hiccup in the plan. A big hiccup, at that._

 _That was life though, wasn't it?_

 _Adam was most certainly not renewing his ROH contract, while she was still expected to continue her ring duties and occasional wrestling. He had talks with others, possibilities, but nothing solid lined up. It was all hypothetical and day by day, and how could anyone plan with life like that?_

 _"Can we just cross that bridge when we come to it?" she questioned, looking towards him from under her eyelashes. "God dude, we've barely settled into ourselves as it is."_

 _"People get married in less time than we've been together."_

 _"So you wanna get married?" Her eyes met his fully, as she lifted her eyebrows in challenge._

 _"OK, smart-ass, I get it," Adam conceded, causing her to relax her face. "I just… we've worked too_ _ **hard**_ _to get here, for me to fuck it up. I don't want to fuck it up. We made a deal, no secrets, no hiding shit. I need you to be open with me on this."_

 _"I am being open," she argued. "I want you to do what you want. What you think will make you happy. Just…I want you to think it all through for_ _ **you**_ _and do that. I'll be here. We'll figure this out, whatever it is. We've figured it out so far. I think we can keep that up."_

 _"Why can't you just tell me what you want?"_

 _"I am!" Brenna responded with force. "I want you to be happy. To choose what you want. The rest of it, us, whatever, we can work on it, figure it out. I haven't put in this much work, this much struggle, to just walk away from you for now."_

 _Adam didn't say anything at first, allowing Brenna to move her gaze from him, taking a long drink from her beer as she did so._

 _"I'm not trying to argue with you," he finally spoke, his tone soft. "I just… your opinion means a lot to me. It always has."_

 _"And I appreciate that," she said. Chewing at her lip, she decided to give him somewhat what he was asking for._

 _"Do I think going into WWE is a crap shoot? Most certainly. You either get to do good there or you don't. There's no middle ground. It happens or it doesn't. And you can't predict that. It seems you can't have a lot of control in it either. But, if that's what you wanna try, if that's what you're up for, then I won't tell you not to._

 _"And if instead you want to take time away from it all, and do random indie shows, and just kind of have a calm life like Kyle's been doing, I'm here for that too. It's not like I'm leaving California anytime soon. Whether I fly from there to here to see your or somewhere else, it can be arranged."_

 _Adam just nodded slightly, and Brenna turned back towards the TV, effectively ending the conversation. Her beer was empty a moment later._

Adam had stopped pestering her after that, realizing she wasn't going to change her stance on the matter. This was his life, his career, and he had to do what he wanted and felt was best. She couldn't stop him or influence him overtly. She had to support him and his dreams. Because for all she knew, his career might outlast their relationship.

But either way, she did want the best for him, wanted him to be happy with his choices for his life. Of course, that didn't mean she loved what he had decided on.

"Sweetheart…."

"Don't, Adam," she replied, finally turning for her eyes to meet his. "Let's just go. I don't want to be driving too late." Standing up, she went to reach for her phone where he'd set it. Adam took the opportunity to grab her hand in his, pulling her between his legs.

"Sit," he ordered, tugging on her hand to bring her closer. With a sigh, Brenna followed his direction, setting herself on his leg, perpendicular to him. He let go of her hand, sliding his arm around her back, his fingertips resting on the skin of her hip just beneath her shirt.

Brenna leaned her head onto his shoulder, her eyes closing when he turned to kiss her forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment, his breath warm as it ghosted on her skin. For some reason, it was this action that made the tears start to prick at her eyes.

"I'm being stupid," she mumbled.

"You're being my girlfriend, or at the very least a good friend," Adam argued. Brenna couldn't help but smile slightly at his words. She blinked a few times rapidly, attempting to keep her tears contained.

"It's just… it's stupid," she repeated, lamented. "It's not like I'm not seeing you ever again. _Obviously_."

"But it's going to be maybe less, or take a lot more effort to do that."

"This is just… this is how we met, ya know? And everything that's gone on with us, I dunno. I guess without this stupid fucking company it wouldn't have happened."

"We have a lot of memories here."

"And like, I know how much this place means to you. And I'm so proud of you and all you've done and to just walk away…I don't know. I just want everything to be so great for you no matter what."

"Again, you're a really great girlfriend."

"Stop validating my crazy," she demanded, making him chuckle softly.

"You're not crazy," Adam countered. "I agree with you on all of this. So I guess if you're crazy, then so am I."

"I mean, that would explain why you're with a girl who straight up decked you once," Brenna conceded, trying to keep her smile hidden.

"Nice, baby. Thank you for that reminder," he stated plainly. Brenna couldn't help the giggle that came next, lifting her head from his shoulder so she was able to look at him. He too was smiling, his eyes gliding across her face, taking her in. "I'm kind of looking forward to having free time to be with you."

"Me too."

"We are very much planning a vacation."

"Oh, we are?"

"We are," Adam confirmed.

"And where are we going?"

"That part is up for discussion," he replied. "But I'm thinking somewhere quiet, just us, where we can just… _be_."

"I will not die in a cabin in the woods for you," Brenna said seriously.

"Stop watching so many horror movies."

"I can't! I love them!"

"And then you have nightmares, and all these paranoid thoughts, that I have to do deal with," Adam reminded her.

"Oh, you can handle it just fine." He looked at her for a moment before kissing her lips softly. Brenna reciprocated the action, bringing her hand up to his face, holding him close to her. They broke apart a moment later, remaining close, each of their breaths mingling warmly with the others.

"Let's go," Adam whispered. "Wanna be home with you."

"No complaints here," Brenna agreed. She stood up from him, going to grab her bags. Adam immediately took her suitcase, which she had learned to not comment on. He wanted to be helpful to her, and she had to swallow her protests and just let him.

"Hey, you remember two months ago when we were here?" Adam asked casually as they made their way through the hallways.

"Mmhmm," Brenna murmured, wrapping her arms around his free one, walking beside him.

"We haven't done too bad since then, huh?" He glanced over and down at her, a playful gleam to his eyes.

"Me and you."

"Me and you," Adam concurred. With a bashful smile, Brenna looked forward again as they headed towards the door to leave. It was uncertain what was going to be happening in the next few weeks, but it was nice to have Adam with her to figure it out.

 _Everything looks different now._

 _All this time my head was down._

 _He came along and showed me how to let go._

 _I can't remember where I'm from,_

 _All I know is who I've become._

 _That our love has just begun like…._


	2. New Chapter, Tomm!

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING. CHAPTER TWO. COMING TOMORROW.

* * *

 _Brenna was entirely capable of taking care of herself though, and he knew that. What if his being far away more than close-by made her realize how little she really needed him?_

 _Getting Brenna to trust him, be with him, understand he only wanted to be good for her, had taken a lot of time. Would his leaving so soon in their relationship change her opinion of him?_


	3. Chapter 2

Philadelphia and The Arena always had a special feel to it when it came to Ring of Honor. The city was the birthplace of the promotion yes, but it was also the city that always had open arms for the indy wrestling business.

The feeling of tonight though was something else, at least backstage.

Brenna had thought the previous show was electric, but tonight's felt heavier than that.

Today was Adam's last with Ring of Honor. His last TV taping, his last time in an ROH ring for who knew how long, maybe forever. His last night as a contracted wrestler for any company. That was only temporary, she knew, but it was still _something_. The PPV and leaving Bullet Club had been one thing, but Adam was walking away from a sure thing in his career entirely tonight.

While Adam was in talks with places, talks could always go wrong, and that could change his projected career path. But after tonight, he was a free agent, and he seemed excited about that actually. Having some time to truly do as he pleased, it was something he hadn't had in years. There was an endpoint in sight, but it wasn't set in stone. So for now, it was a chance to rest, recharge, rediscover his passion. Spend time with her, which she selfishly was going to demand the most of.

"So, what's on _your_ agenda for the night?" Nick inquired, bringing Brenna's attention back to the table of her friends.

"Dark match for the second taping, then announcing the last two shows," she answered before picking up her drink and taking a long gulp of water. "You guys are all coming to the house after right?"

Both Bucks nodded, as Adam sat back down at the table, having been off talking to someone in production.

It had been Adam's idea to have a party at his house after the show. He had said he had two reasons for it: one, an opportunity to have everyone together one last time, and two, a way to put a positive spin on his last night so it wasn't so bogged down in emotion.

For Brenna, it had only brought her stress. She was a planner, and she'd been running around crazy on their day off yesterday to get everything she felt they'd need for the occasion. Food, drinks, flatware, ice…. Adam deserved the best kind of sendoff, and she was going to do all she could to make it happen.

There was a good chance some of his family members were at his place right this moment, setting up, and putting up some decorations she'd gotten for the occasion. Adam had no idea about this, and she was hoping his brother had kept it that way. He was the most likely candidate to slip up.

"Try not to destroy my house tonight," Adam requested of his friends as he joined the conversation. The Bucks barely reacted, whereas Marty laughed outright. Adam raised his eyebrows at this.

"I guess I'll be in charge of good ol' Party Boy here," Brenna decided, nodding in Marty's direction.

"I would be honored," he replied, causing her to laugh.

Tonight was going to be a lot of things, a lot to work through, but as long as Brenna had the people at this table with her, and many others that were wandering around, everything would be fine.

* * *

Adam found himself standing in the gorilla area of the arena, his eyes focused on the monitor on the table. The Women of Honor match on the second show taping of the night wasn't going to be televised, but it was happening in the arena.

And his girlfriend, for all her underrated talent and lack of mainstream exposure, was a big part of this match.

It was a tag affair, with Brenna taking on the tough baby-faced role, a role he hadn't played in a long time. But she was so good at it, better than he ever was. She had a way about her in the ring, and equally, outside of it, that just _drew_ people to her, made people support and believe in her, made people want to know her. Made people seek comfort from her, an opinion, an honest ear.

He had always felt he had a lot to learn from her, though he'd never told her as much.

He really should.

Watching as she did a perfect spinning roundhouse kick to her opponent made his chest swell with pride. That was _his_ girlfriend out there kicking ass.

His girlfriend, who'd he see much less of in the ring live going forward. His girlfriend, who'd he'd see much less of _period_ going forward most likely.

Even though there were no contracts signed at that moment, it was no secret what would probably happen within the next couple months with his career. He was hopeful, honestly, that things would stay on the path they were already on. But that meant it was unlikely he'd still be based in Pennsylvania.

Adam knew his decisions for his own career directly impacted her. For all her support and deflective statements, he knew that what he was doing mattered to Brenna. She could spend all day, until she was out of breath, telling him how much she only wanted the best for him, and he would still have his doubts. Not doubts about the fact she wanted the best for him, no, he trusted that. But that it was the _only_ thing that mattered to her, **that** he didn't believe.

He knew that if the roles were reversed, and he was staying on the indy scene for a long time and she was going off to do as she pleased, he would not be so calm and collected about it. They had gone through too much struggle, too much bullshit, for him to just say 'OK, yep, you do that, and we'll figure it out'. He needed her close.

Why was he leaving her then? Not _leaving_ her, but he was putting a wrench in their lives and plans. Creating a less consistent contact for them to have. This was solely on him to be changing their lives. He felt selfish…because he was being selfish. He knew he had the right to advance his career, do what he saw fit for himself but still….

This wasn't the first time he'd put wrestling above other things, and it probably wouldn't the last. It wasn't that other things didn't matter or affect him. He just had such a drive for his career that it had always been a hard balance to make with other parts of his life, like family and relationships. Though, in fairness, he used to be a lot more reckless and self-seeking than he was being now. Before, he would have done what he thought was best for himself in the ring without any thought elsewhere. Before, he had let relationships in his life deteriorate as he chased his dreams.

Now, he wanted to know Brenna was OK with how things were, **had** to have her at least OK with things before he could advance with his ideas.

As he watched her get tagged in again, and immediately throw several elbows at her opponent, he started to think about what _her_ life would be like with him gone.

He would be remiss if he didn't acknowledge his eyes stinging a bit, as his thoughts ran away from him.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Brenna, or trust her position in their relationship. It was everyone else, life, the things that could happen to her or around her when he wasn't there that worried him the most. For as much as he knew and respected her strength, he was still her boyfriend, and he had a place in protecting her and being close to support her at all times. He was really failing in that way by doing what he was.

Brenna was entirely capable of taking care of herself though, and he knew that. What if his being far away more than close-by made her realize how little she really needed him?

Getting Brenna to trust him, be with him, understand he only wanted to be good for her, had taken a lot of time. Would his leaving so soon in their relationship change her opinion of him?

He had worked so hard to make his feelings known to her, believed by her. When it came down to it, he was the reason someone she had once called upon in times of trouble was now the source of her trouble. That said a lot. Who was he to bail on her just when things were starting to settle and make sense and bring them both calm?

She had been through a big and tough loss, an unfortunate catalyst to their current status, if he was being honest. But he had told himself way back when he'd never hurt her if he could help it, would do anything he could to keep her happy. Leaving this company, this part of his life, it wasn't making her happy, no matter what front she was putting up.

He hated himself at that moment. She didn't deserve another big change to adjust to.

"Hey, don't you have to get ready for your match?" Cody's voice startled Adam. He hoped the man didn't notice him taking a shaky breath, and blinking a few times, before looking towards him.

"You see any of this?" Adam questioned as a deflection, indicating with his head the match still going on.

"Not really. Bren doing alright?"

"She's amazing, man," he answered, his eyes already back on the small screen. He tried not to grin too stupidly as Brenna and her partner double-teamed their opponent, getting a near-fall.

"She has been for a long time," Cody stated. "Brandi asked her to help her in the ring a bit, I think."

"That would be good," Adam said, only turning back to his groupmate when the ref was raising Brenna's hand with her partner's. When he faced Cody, he found the other man looking at him, almost curiously, though his face was fairly flat in appearance overall. "…what?"

"You sure about leaving her?"

"I'm not _leaving_ her. We're just…changing how things are."

" _Right_ ," Cody said, sounding entirely like he doubted Adam's words. "Look, man, I'm not one to tell anyone how to live their life. Do what makes you happy. But it's a lot harder being with WWE day in and day out, and it takes a bigger toll than you know. On you, on everyone around you. You've got a good thing with Bren. I don't know _that_ much, but I know that. Not being in the same place as her…especially with where you're probably gonna land, it's gonna be really tough. Just…keep that in mind, OK?"

Adam wanted to tell Cody he hadn't signed a contract with WWE yet, so what did it matter in the grand scheme of things? Everything was hypothetical. But, he also recognized Cody had been down that road, been beaten up on that road. And Brandi had very famously followed her husband away from that place, showing the epitome of commitment to one's significant other. He understood where Cody was coming from. He was just trying to save Adam from some struggle at best, and heartache at worst.

But couldn't it work the other way too? What if Brenna eventually came to WWE too, if that was where Adam did go? What if this _change_ made them stronger, any distance reaffirming their need for one another? What if Brenna famously followed him into something new and fun for both of them?

Anything was possible.

"Yea, I hear ya," Adam finally responded, choosing to not further the conversation in any capacity, and simply accept the other man's words. Cody nodded after a moment, before turning to walk down the hallway.

Adam decided to leave the gorilla area before Brenna made it backstage from the ring. He would rather see her later when he could be entirely focused on her, like she deserved. For now, he needed to go get ready for his own last hurrah. And if he was being truthful with himself, he wasn't so sure he wouldn't openly cry the second she was in his arms at this moment.

It was better to wait to see her.

* * *

The party was in full swing at Adam's house in no time. Food was being continually made, all of the wrestlers needing a post-show meal. Drinks were flowing, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Adam found himself always having someone to talk to, everyone wanting a chance to wish him well and have a laugh with him about some of his _finer_ moments over the years.

He had found it easier to walk out of the arena earlier tonight than he had anticipated. It was hard, of course, but having done _the big things_ on the PPV two days prior had taken away some of the sting of the situation. Honestly, he couldn't have asked for a better ending to his current Ring of Honor career. The last match he'd done, a dark street fight against Marty, with the Bucks ringside, had felt right. Felt true to the story. Felt like he was leaving a legacy in a way with the company and The Bullet Club.

Of course, he still had other indy shows to tackle, and it was likely that the PWG show this upcoming weekend would bring another big wave of emotion to handle.

For now, though, he was really enjoying getting to share a beer with Cary, a father-figure in a lot of ways, and laugh over his Panama Playboy gimmick from yesteryear.

When the conversation had run its natural course, Adam did a lap to make sure everyone was getting on well and had what they needed. He went over to where the drinks were in various buckets and coolers on the side of the house, checking the situation. Some of them needed more ice, and he set about doing this.

"Hey." Adam looked over his shoulder, realizing that the voice he'd thought was Jay's…was, in fact, Jay's. The older Briscoe was standing a few feet from him, hands shoved into his hoodie front pocket.

"…hey." Adam had not at all expected to see either of the brothers at his house that night for the gathering. While he had extended the invitation to everyone in the back, he hadn't anticipated his least-favorite-coworkers to show. He was immediately on guard.

"Need any help?"

"…I've got it," Adam answered, dumping the ice bag into the cooler over top the beers he'd placed in there a few moments ago. He figured Jay must have been watching him to see when he didn't have others around him, making it safe to approach.

Jay Briscoe was not dumb, no matter what kind of portrayal he put out of himself publicly.

"Look, I know we ain't… I'm not your biggest fan, and you ain't mine," Jay stated. "But we got Bren in common. And…. We gotta do right by her."

"That's all I've **been** doing," Adam responded tightly, crumpling up the now empty plastic bag and tossing it into the nearby trash bag.

"For now."

"Fuck you." There was no hesitation in his response, as he turned to fully face the other man. Jay wasn't much bigger than Adam, maybe a bit broader in the shoulders, but that was about it. He wasn't whatsoever intimated by the other man, especially knowing he was the one in the right.

"Fuck you, too," Jay retorted with no reluctance himself. "You came outta nowhere, thinking you had any right to be involved in our _family_ , and you didn't. No one, **no one** , thinks it's OK how you got with Bren."

"…and what? You wanted me to what? Ask for your permission to date her? What are you, from the fucking Stone Age? Brenna is a _human._ She can make her own decisions."

"She was messed up, going through some really tough shit, and you…you of all fucking people…." Jay just glared at the less-tattooed man, not finishing his thought.

"What? What did I _of all fucking people_ **do**? Comfort her? Make her feel safe? Take care of her? **Love** her? I'm not fucking sorry."

The silence that followed the moment allowed Adam to fully take stock of what he'd said.

Love.

 _Love_.

Did he love Brenna?

They'd only been together really a couple months. Things had been entirely sideways in their relationship only a couple months before then. Despite how much she'd meant to him, and how poorly he'd went about handling those feelings, it was still a relationship in infancy. It was a bit soon for love, wasn't it?

Was he just trying to get the better of Jay by saying it?

Fuck.

Brenna. She was…everything good he'd ever understood, that was true. She didn't deserve to be a sticking point in an argument, a petty argument at that.

Jay seemed to just as much realize the declaration the younger man had made. And was just as quiet in response to it.

It was better to ignore the situation.

"Listen. If you just came here to start shit, then don't bother, and leave. This bullshit isn't going to make any of us better, and I'm not about to let Bren have to deal with it anymore." Adam's assertion was made in a fierce tone, a tone that Jay had honestly only heard once before. The time when he'd confronted Adam in a parking lot.

"No, you listen. That's not… I'm not here for this back and forth bullshit," Jay admitted, some of his intensity dissipating. He _hadn't_ come here for a fight, and he needed to remember that. He needed to make his original goal his mission.

"I just… you're gonna be gone right?" Adam nodded briefly in agreement. "Then, I want Bren to know… With you not around as much, I wanna make sure she's taken care of."

"She'll be fine. She has **friends**."

It was clear what Adam was saying with emphasis on the last word, and both knew that. Friends. Friends that weren't Jay. Friends that cared for her and didn't judge her. Friends that wanted the best for her without question. Friends that didn't start fights with her. Friends that accepted their relationship.

"I'm not sorry for being worried about her being with you. I ain't ever gonna apologize for that," Jay declared. "But…Bren…she's headstrong, always has been. I know that and I gotta accept that. Appreciate that. So…I don't…my history with her, it isn't gone, and it'll never be gone. I don't have to be happy with her, but I can't forget her."

"Well you've done a pretty damn good job of forgetting her these last couple months," Adam pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest. "She hasn't once mentioned you, or you reaching out to make things better."

"Two-way street, buddy."

"What did you want from her, huh? To come crawling back to you, tell you she was sorry she was with me and you were right? You just fucking told me you respect her being strong. That strength isn't just when you like it. Her strength right now is in refusing to let you control her and change her mind on something she believes in. And I'm glad that something is me."

Adam watched as Jay became tenser, and squared his own shoulders in response. If this verbal disagreement was about to turn into a physical one, he was ready.

"…I hope you're not this much of a prick to her," Jay stated.

"Get the fuck out of my house." Adam glared at the other man as he spoke. This conversation was over as far as he was concerned. While Jay had approached him with the best of intentions seemingly, it was clear he was still not over his own issues and bullshit opinions. Adam was tired of this conversation, and he had no desire to have Brenna have to deal with anything Jay Briscoe tonight either. "I said, **get out**. Go!"

"No," Jay refused, crossing his own arms over his chest. "I am not leaving here until you understand where I'm coming from."

" _OH?_ It seems you're coming from the place of being the fucking douche you've been being for a while. Brenna is better than this petty shit you're throwing at us. She doesn't need it or want it or deserve it. And I will NOT let you upset her tonight with this bullshit." Adam paused for a moment, restraining himself from taking a step closer to the other man. "I will remove you from my house if I have to."

Jay didn't respond for a beat, instead cocking his head ever so much as he looked at Adam.

Adam waited for his next move, fully ready to fulfill his declarations and drag the man from the premises if had to. He knew he'd have backup in the matter if needed.

"…do me a favor," Jay posed. "All this hate and anger, all this passion you have for Brenna's wellbeing, don't ever lose it."

That was very much the last thing Adam expected to hear from Jay right then.

And Jay sticking out his hand for a shake, that was the last thing Adam expected to see.

"Be good to her. And I'll make sure to do the same when you're gone."

It still didn't seem real, and if questioned about it, Adam wouldn't be able to explain why he slowly extended his own hand to take the other. Part of him just wanted the situation to be over, but another part of him….

He stayed on guard through the action, half-expecting Jay to pull him in and try to punch him still. Instead, Jay shook his hand, and then turned and walked away without further words.

Adam was still for a second, watching the retreating back of the elder Briscoe, before grabbing a beer from the nearby cooler.

He needed it.

* * *

Brenna was thoroughly enjoying her night. She was currently nursing a liquor drink and laughing with Corino and Kaz as they told her some 'baby Adam' stories she'd never heard before. She didn't know where her significant other was at that moment, but she hoped he stayed away so she could continue to get blackmail material.

Eventually, she couldn't ignore the chill that was starting to run through her body. Apparently, the long sleeve she was in, wasn't enough, and she needed another layer. She excused herself from her friends, heading into the house and down to the bedroom. Digging around in Adam's things, she took out one of his zip-ups and pulled it on, relishing in its size and Adam-ness.

When she came back down the hallway and into the kitchen, she came face to face with someone she had not expected to see.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shit, it's good to see you too," Jay replied, his eyes scanning over her, taking in her full appearance. Brenna tightened her hand at her side, trying to remember to not crush her cup in her other hand.

"Can't say the same," she snidely retorted. Brenna brushed passed him, heading back out the door into the backyard. She heard him follow after her.

"Yikes," he stated, as he was able to use his much longer stride to pass by her. Brenna stopped walking as he stood in front of her, not really giving her a choice in her actions. "When did you get so callous?"

"Callous? Did someone buy you a thesaurus recently?" His jaw tightened and shifted. Brenna held her gaze with his, trying to keep her back as straight as she could. "Jay, if you're here to cause shit, then just leave. Go. What's happened is done and nothing's changed."

"I dunno bout that," he said, causing her eyebrows to draw down ever so slightly. "Come on bug, just hear me out."

" **Don't** call me that."

"A'ight, fine. _Brenna_ , hear me out." It took everything in her to not lash out at him. She rolled her shoulders back, before giving a small nod of her head. "I talked to Cole a little while ago."

Her immediate thought was: bullshit. Except Jay looked entirely serious.

"You know, you're gonna be out on the road, and he's not. That ain't gonna be easy."

"You don't say," was her sarcastic response.

"Will you just fucking stop and listen to me?" She reluctantly bit back another retort. "Man, you've got this idea that you're the only one who isn't happy with how shit is, and you're wrong. I get it, OK? We're on bad terms. Shit, you think Mandy hasn't been at me constantly over this?"

Hearing that his wife was unhappy with their situation was bittersweet. She had considered the woman a friend as well, and suddenly she realized in cutting out Jay she'd cut his better half out too, which was no fault of Mandy's. Brenna had felt justified in this until now. Now she felt a bit bad, honestly.

"I get it, alright? I have to let you do what you want to do. But I don't have to be happy about it."

"You can be unhappy, but you don't have to be a dick about it. You have no right to hate **me** for trying to be happy."

"I don't hate you. I hate what you're doing."

"OK. Sure. Because _that_ distinction has been made oh so clear?" Brenna rolled her eyes. "Jay, I don't wanna do this again. I **can't**. So just…say what you feel you have to and leave me alone."

"…do you know what I did after you called me to tell me Evan was gone?"

This was not the turn in the conversation Brenna saw coming. It wasn't something she ever expected to talk about with Jay ever, honestly. All she could do in response was barely shrug.

"I cried," he admitted.

Brenna didn't know what to do with that information.

"You were so…I'd never heard you so _hurt_ before. And I knew I couldn't do anything to change it. And he was my friend too, ya know? We had a lot of good nights all out together. But knowing you were…you were so broken up…it was a fucking nightmare for me. … Ev always trusted me to watch out for ya, and I couldn't do anything for you then."

"I don't want to talk about this," she decided. "It doesn't matter now."

"Yea, it fucking does." Jay waited to make sure she wasn't about to scamper off and away from him. "It matters because I don't think you realize how much you mean to me. I ain't out here acting like I am just for _fun_. I'm trying to watch out for you."

"Well, that's a nice sentiment, but what you're actually doing is making things worse for me."

"Yea, I got that, I guess." Jay paused, sighing. "Do I fully trust Cole? Hell no. But I don't _not_ trust him a little bit either. It's been a couple months, you seem good. But a couple months isn't that long. He can still be who I know he's capable of bein'."

"You don't have to trust him," Brenna allowed. "But don't you trust _me_?"

"I always did."

"The only thing stopping you now is you then. Fuck Jay, this is my life, my choices. I think I'm making really good ones honestly. I feel… _OK_ , again. The best I've felt in a while. Adam is a huge part of that. And if for some insane reason it goes sour, then, that was my mistake to make."

"I know… Look, this doesn't fix it all, I know that. I said some stuff to Adam tonight too, just wanted to try to make the peace I guess. Just…when we're out on the road, don't… I'm around if you need something, a'ight?"

That was a Jay Briscoe apology if she ever heard one.

"…yea, alright."

It was a shaky truce at best, and they both knew that. Time would be necessary to heal these wounds. But it seemed at least they were both willing to work through it out for now.

"Bug, I mean that," Jay reiterated. "I'm not just…. You're in for a lot, and I don't…I want you to know you're not just… It'll be OK, OK?"

Brenna took some type of pleasure in watching Jay stumble over his words, struggle to convey what he was trying to mean.

"I knew that…before you said it," she replied. "Momma ain't raised no weakling."

"No, that she certainly didn't," he laughed in agreement.

Brenna smiled at his laugh, feeling just the tiniest bit lighter. While Jay had a lot of ground to cover with her as far as getting her to trust and want him around again, it was a nice start to redemption for her.

Looking across the yard, her eyes caught Adam's, as he stood talking with Matt and Nick. He looked thoroughly concerned but was clearly keeping himself from storming over to the pair. As a means to settle her clearly agitated boyfriend, she winked and smiled a bit.

Things were looking better, but what she really wanted to know was what Jay had said to Adam earlier. That would really matter in her outlook and future decisions.

 _What if I was made for you and you were made for me?_

 _What if this is it, what if it's meant to be?_

 _What if I ain't one of them fools just playin' some game?_

 _What if I just pulled you close, what if I leaned in,_

 _And the stars line up and it's our last first kiss?_

 _What if one of these days baby I'd go and change your name?_

 _What if I loved all these what ifs away?_


End file.
